Friday, February 13, 2009

Old Entry

I was tidying up my blog and came across an entry which was still in draft and never got posted. I wrote it a year ago, somewhere in February I think, while struggling with my thesis.

I could not really remember why I got stuck into finishing this particular entry. Maybe I was having one of those writer's block halfway through. Heck, maybe I just got lazy.

"It was a short 20 minutes ride from school after an early morning meeting with the supervisor. I was all alone in the bus, feeling bored and looking out through the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of anything interesting in the hope of amusing myself. I saw people going about their lives, hurrying to an unknown destination or simply enjoying the walk with their loved ones or errr, loved dogs. I saw bits of flowers here and there, blooming from the lifeless trees, indicating that a new season is coming.

To be honest I have always been expecting something different from these people, a different kind of life in this part of the world where life is said to be good and prosperous. Much to my disappointment, I see people doing the same thing everywhere I go. It doesn't matter where you are. You could be in london, paris or KL, people would still be doing the normal day to day stuff - they go to school, they work, do groceries, do the dishes, play with the kids, go out for the so called teh tarik session blah blah. I laugh at myself from time to time, thinking of how much expectation I had prior to coming here, just to see life so similar to what I had in my own country?? Haha what a joke!

But I do believe that I am somehow seeing things a bit differently now. Some in good, while others in a little bit of a distorted point of view, perhaps. It amazes me to see how many people back home are still blindly fooled by the mainstream media which are obviously controlled by the powers-that-be, while the oppositions are given zero access to it. It sickens me to see what sort of fool the current ruling party think of the people, or how investigations either get swept under the carpet or goes round and round, turning away from the actual issue.

It's also funny to think of how the Malays are so taksub with the believe that we are the race with the most budi bahasa. And how the West are poisoning the minds of our young ones with their lifestyle, culture and what not. Sape kata mat saleh takde budi bahasa?"

Reading through this particular entry reminded me of the exact feeling I had on that bus.

Reading through this entry reminded me of how frustrated I was with the Malaysian politics, the grievance felt to the fate of my beloved country, not forgetting the complaint session with DCM!
(Thanks for being a great listener! :D)

Most importantly, reading through this entry reminded me of my old self.

I like my old self.

But I don't quite like the person I am turning into.

But heck, it's not too late to turn back time!

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