Penat

Ini adalah entry melepas perasaan: dont say I didn't warn ya peeps.

I am dead tired with questions pertaining to my fiancee. Some friends seemed to be overly concerned with the fact that I am engaged to a dude who is 12 years older than me. I have been asked various questions ranging from his bank account up to my parent's approval.

I would not say it did not hurt me as some of them came from those who are dearest to me. What amuses me the most is those questions came from friends with good educational background, work in top notch companies yet the mentality?

I'd say shallower than a kiddie pool. Nothing much to dig in there.

I mean, do I look like some bimbo who's got dollar signs in my eyes? Or someone who's marrying a dude who can be considered my dad? Am I ugly to a point I have no options and have to make do to anyone who proposed?

Last time I checked my advanced European masters degree is still intact in the blue folder. And I still receive my monthly paycheck from what many considered a reputable company. I may not go on hot dates every Saturday night but I think I look decent enough to have had boyfriends and dates over the years to be able to say that most men suck. Big time. Yeah, just like you. With pea sized brain who act like assholes.

What's with the age? What's the big deal about it? Tell me pretty please coz I just don't get it really. And what's with the question of whether he is rich? Even if he is, then what? Aren't you supposed to be happy for me? Does it make me a tramp for wanting to be with someone who has a good job and a decent paycheck?

Is age a breaking point? A go or no go? Maybe it is if you're marrying someone who can be considered your dad or your grandpa. But is 12 bloody years too much? Heck, he can even be your brother. Maybe he is a tad older, so what? Have you ever considered other questions to ask? Like whether he is a nice chap? Someone who comes from a good family? Is he responsible? Does he has good education / job? Is he smart enough for me to be able to look up to him? Does he make me laugh?

Would it matter if I told you that he is a super nice chap up to a point he is taken advantage off over and over again? Or that he was badly heartbroken once yet still wishes her the best in all that she does? Would it matter if I told you that he contacts his mother and sisters almost daily even when he is thousands of miles away? Would it count that he was the youngest chap by at least 10 years to have ever run the school? Or the fact that he goes out to lunch at least once a week with his janitor, and invites her to the school's fiesta when everybody else look down on her?

Maybe not. Coz no matter what I say you would still think that I am going for his money or probably snatching the first moving thing that comes my way.

I'm sorry if your hubby / boyfriend is having trouble to make ends meet and have to rely on you at the end of the month. I'm sorry that you have to chip in a hefty sum for that roof over the head and the furnishing even when it is his duty to provide. I'm sorry that he does not help you in the kitchen or with house chores even when he is not the sole breadwinner. Or the fact that he is not sensitive enough to remember your birthday and appreciate your sacrifices even when you bore him his child.

Just coz you're in deep shit, it doesn't make it right for you to condemn. Or is it jealousy that I sense?